Birth Planning: It’s Just Like Planning a Party! (sort of)
🎉 Today I had my 1 year old’s birthday party. With all my previous babies born in winter as soon as I knew she was going to be a summer baby I had a vision of summer garden parties each year to celebrate!
☀️ For months I planned this garden party - I visualised it in my mind, I planned a hot dog cart, a candy floss stand, balloons, lots of outdoor seating and outdoor games for the kids. And of course cake! I researched different local companies and pulled everything together to achieve my vision. Maybe a little extra, but it was MY vision!
🌧 But also, I live in Scotland so I knew the weather could be a bit unpredictable. So I thought about what I would do if it rained. And I planned as best as I could for different scenarios.
☂ Plan B: If it rained a little, we could still go ahead with most things, but maybe have a gazebo for some shelter and some of the kids games might not be suitable.
⛈ Plan C: If it was a complete and utter downpour we could move the party indoors, it wouldn’t be the same as planned and there would be no games but there would still be hotdogs and candyfloss and balloons and cake. And we would still be able to celebrate our girl with our loved ones.
🌈 As it turned out it was a bit of a mixed bag weather wise - the forecast showed downpours and 90% chance of rain all day, so we brought the party indoors! In reality it was a mix of sunny spells and showers - so whilst the party was indoors we could pop in and out throughout the day. A half garden party if you like! I was disappointed we hadn’t managed a full on garden party but we had lots of fun and special memories were made.
What could I have done to avoid any disappointment?
💭 I could have decided not to plan a garden party at all, just in case the weather let us down, that way I wouldn’t have been disappointed if it didn’t happen. But then if I hadn’t planned for it, there was zero chance of it happening even if the weather had been completely dry today.
💭 I could have decided to just go with the flow and see what happened on the day. Then if the sun had come out we could have had something in the garden. And if it hadn’t we could have had something indoors. This might have worked out well for us, it could have been a lovely day. But then I might not have had all the extra things I really wanted there - like hot dogs and candyfloss and balloons and cake.
So what on earth does this have to do with birth? Well being a bit birth obsessed and with birth planning being at the forefront of my mind both personally and in preparation for my next FREE Masterclass, I couldn’t help draw some analogies!
Now that is not to trivialise birth - I totally appreciate birth is a life changing event and a one year old’s birthday garden party is a million miles off in terms of importance. But hear me out!
How many times do you hear people say - ‘don’t bother with a birth plan, that way you won’t be disappointed?’; you might have even said it yourself, ‘I’m not going to bother with a birth plan as I don’t want to be disappointed if it goes wrong’; or ‘I’ll just go with the flow on the day and see what happens’.
Often we are scared to even think about our ‘dream birth’ for fear of disappointment if doesn’t go to plan.
Now ask yourself this - if you really really really wanted to have a garden party - with hot dogs and candy floss and balloons and cake - would you just never plan one in case the weather ended up being crap? Or would you go ahead and make plans for your ‘dream garden party’ hoping for the best, but with a backup in case those plans had to change? If you’re like me the answer will be you go ahead and you make those plans.
Why then when it comes to birth wouldn’t you take the same approach? Here are my top tips for planning your dream birth:
✅ Create a vision of your ‘dream birth’ - whatever that may look like for YOU! Really dig deep and think about what you want that to look like.
✅ Plan for your ‘dream birth’, research, take action to help make it happen and importantly let yourself believe it is possible!
✅ Consider what happens if the plans for your ‘dream birth’ have to change, have a plan B and plan C.
✅ Think about the things you wanted from your ‘dream birth’ and whether any of those can still happen in plan B and plan C.
✅ Work on planning for the things you can control and letting go of the things you can’t.
❗️IMPORTANT: Even with all of this talk of taking action and developing a positive mindset, there is no room here for toxic positivity. So please know that it is absolutely still ok to be disappointed if you don’t get to have your ‘dream birth’ even if plan B or plan C were as positive as they could be! Acknowledge those feelings, and if they run a little deeper than just disappointment know there is support available to help you work through them!
📝 If you are interested in finding out more about how to write an assertive and empowering birth plan be sure to download by FREE GUIDE or why not book a 121 Session with me to go over your birth plans in more detail.
